Gilmore Girls

"Well, there’s this big event that’s happening in my town. . ." - Rory
"Pig race?" - Paris
"Dance marathon" - Rory
"I was close" - Paris

"But there are five days in a school week" - Emily
"Really? Are you sure? Because my days of the week underwear only go to Thursday" - Lorelai
"Is that a joke?" - Emily

(Students are taking a test)
"Fifteen minutes left" - Teacher
(Jess sneaks in and sits behind Lane) "Lane. . .Lane" - Jess
"Sh" - Lane
"I need a pencil" - Jess
"I don’t have one" - Lane
"Then I need a pen" - Jess
LANE: You only have fifteen minutes left.
"Then I need the answers" - Jess
"There’s a pen in my bag" - Lane
"I can’t go through your bag" - Jess
"Yes, you can" - Lane
"My mother told me never go through a lady’s bag. . .at least, not until you’re a couple blocks away. I’m just kidding, she never said that. Though it sounds like pretty good advice, doesn’t it?" - Jess
"Take it and shut up" (hands him a pen) - Lane
"Well, I tell you, it’s true – small towns sure are friendly" - Jess

"No, I mean, the cat’s name is Kirk?" - Lorelai
"Yup" - Kirk
"Weird coincidence or. . ." - Lorelai
"I named him Kirk" - Kirk
"Isn’t that confusing?" - Lorelai
"Not when you think about it" - Kirk
[Lorelai thinks about it]
"No, it’s still confusing" - Lorelai
"I like the name, and whenever I call Kirk’s name, I obviously won’t be calling myself" - Kirk
"True" - Lorelai
"Although when my mom calls for Kirk, that may be confusing. Maybe I can get her to say CatKirk when she’s calling Kirk, and HumanKirk when she’s calling me" - Kirk

"You were on the phone?" - Emily
"Long distance" - Richard
"God?" - Lorelai
"London" - Richard
"God lives in London?" - Lorelai
"My mother lives in London" - Richard
"Your mother is God?" - Lorelai
"Lorelai..." - Richard
"So, God *is* a woman" - Lorelai
"Lorelai" - Richard
"And a relative. That's so cool. I'm gonna totally ask for favors" - Lorelai
"Make her stop" - Richard
"Oh, that I could" - Rory

"Why, what was wrong with that one?" - Luke
"It was pink" - Jess
"We can paint it" - Luke
"You mean I can paint it" - Jess
"We can paint it together" - Luke
"Great, then we can hold hands and skip afterwards" - Jess